The Story of a Solid Snake
by Sniper Snake
Summary: Follow Snake, the female version of the legendary mercenary, on her top secret missions. Part 2 of CHAPTER 8 is UP! Guess who makes a guest appearance...
1. Chapter 1: Weirdos & Perverts

Note- For conversations or thoughts- Snake's words are in italics; the other person's speech is in regular font, usually in quotes

Disclaimer- Anything related to Metal Gear is obviously not mine!

Data Entry- 001- Weirdos & Perverts

0100 hrs - 1 a.m.

A man shuffles to his desk and gazes out the window. He slumps into a chair and notices the darkness outside. Moonlight floods in, illuminating his spectacles.

He's in his early fifties and as he picks up the phone, a familiar phrase crosses his mind. "I'm too old for this." He presses only two buttons on the receiver and it begins to ring. Once, twice, three times... "Come on, I know you're there," he grumbles. Finally, after the seventh ring, a young female voice answers. "_What the hell do you want! Do you know what time it is_?"

Wait a minute! This girl sounds like a teen! What is this man doing? Is he trying to get a late night booty call? What a perv! Fortunately, he's not calling because he's horny.

"Snake, you know I wouldn't be calling you after all this time unless it was urgent!" the man replies. Snake... huh? Who would name a girl Snake? "_What now, Major_?" Snake snaps. Major... is this old man in the Army? "Snake, meet me at the old rendezvous point; I'll brief you for your next mission."

"_FINE, but I'll say it once and only once, I am **not **fighting any stupid perverted losers! Last mission, the guards were so retarded that when I put them in a chokehold, they thought I was trying to make out with them! I told them I was the N.Y.P.D., meaning that I will k**N**ock **Y**our **P**unk ass **D**own!"_

"Well, I can't guarantee that there aren't any perverted guards. I mean they are deprived of female contact for a long time. "_Are you taking there side?_" "No, I was just saying... Never mind. Anyway, it is a dangerous mission. Are you up to it?"

"_Major, you do know when I left the Army, I no longer wanted to be involved with it anymore." _"Snake, how can you say that! You know you miss the violence and the thrill of the mission! You're only truly alive when death is staring you in the face." There was a long pause, then... "_I can't deny it. You're right about that_. _I haven't officially agreed to this mission. But I guess I'll take it. I've been needing some action. Don't be late geezer!" _

The Major hangs up the phone. "Teenagers," he mutters and rushes out the door to meet his old war buddy.

-End Transmission

A/N - Not bad, I hope. It depends if you guys like it or not. Let me know and please, please REVIEW.


	2. Chapter 2: Scorpions & Sloths

A/N: The chapters later on will be better. But for right now this one is sort of for intro purposes.

Disclaimer- Metal Gear is not mine! Although I wish it was...

Data Entry-002- Scorpions & Sloths

0230 hrs - 2:30 a.m.

The Major drives miles from his office to a discreet wooded area. He looks around wearily before stepping out of his car. He marches into the woods for about 15 minutes, before he arrives at a clearing.

He raises a hand to his glasses and presses a miniscule button His glasses instantly turn into thermal goggles. He glances around and spots a large amount of thermal energy in a tree. "You can come out now," he says. Why the hell is he talking to a tree? That blob of heat could just be an owl. Is this guy off his rocker?

Suddenly, the thermal energy disappears. The Major takes off his glasses and looks up just in time to see someone somersaulting through the air. The figure whirled gracefully before coming to a halt in a pouncing position.

"Long time, no see, Snake." The young soldier/agent stood and stared at the man. She was tall and slender, however, she had muscles that complimented her physique. Her long dark hair was straight and pulled back in a ponytail.

Her eyebrows were concealed by long bangs that made her brown, almond-shaped eyes appear more intense. A smile played around her lips. "_Morning, Major_. _Didn't keep you waiting did I?_" "Not at all. Anyway, let's get down to business. We don't have much time. Your mission is to rescue a scientist named Scheen Richardson. He's one of the top biology researchers in the world. He was in Cambodia studying how sloths mate, when he was kidnapped by the Scorpions."

_"The Scorpions_?" "A biological warfare terrorist group. We think they're planning to unleash a worldwide pandemic. Task Force 160 has been trying to eliminate them, but they've failed."

"_So what do the Scorpions want with this nerd?" "_It turns out Richardson has developed vaccines for highly contagious viruses, such as anthrax. We fear the Scorpions want to use his expertise to harm the world, not save it."

"So, we've turned to you to save your country, and prehaps the world." _"I'll do anything for the Stars and Stripes." _"I'm glad to hear that. Now, the Scorpions reside in the Gobi Desert near the border of China and Mongolia. _"I'm aware of where the Gobi is. So, I'm infiltrating their base?" _"Of course. You're the only one who's capable of doing this, other than Solid Snake himself. Snake, get that dreamy look off your face, you've got to focus!"

_"Sorry, but he is irresistibly hot. Being a female snake, I simply can't help it. By the way, why isn't HE doing this mission? He's a legendary soldier; he's probably the best for this kinda thing." _"Unfortunately, he's on vacation and absolutely refuses to do this mission. I also think that you're much to young to be thinking about an older man. Anyway, you'll be deployed by parachute into the Gobi. We'll supply you with basic necessites. After that, you're on your own."

_"Right, time to move. Oh yeah Major, I'm a big girl, I can handle any man, even the badass Solid Snake." _Snake ran to her camo patterned Suzuki motorcycle hidden among the forest. She reved up the engine. She sped through the woods and back on the road, leaving the Major behind.

A/N: The next few chapters will have more action. Believe me. PLEASE REVIEW! I need some feedback to know how I'm doing. So, DAMN IT, REVIEW! Thank you for your time.


	3. Chapter 3: Into the Night

A/N: Yes, this is the same story. I haven't switched plots on you. But in this chapter only, part of it's from the POV of a young Mongolian boy.

Disclaimer- Konami won't let me have Metal Gear.

Data Entry- 003- Into the Night

0515 hrs - 5:15 a.m.

Sabib rose slowly from his cot. His mother, father, and little brother were huddled around him, sleeping. It was still dark outside and he had been trying, without success, to go back to sleep.

The adventurous eight year old crept out of the family tent and gazed at the endless pattern of stars high above. He looked around and took in the vastness of the great Gobi Desert. He and his family were nomads. They were crossing the desert in order to reach central Mongolia, where his father would hope to find work.

He walked a few yards away, and laid upon his back in the cool sand. As he stared upward, his eyelids began to droop and he started to doze. After a while, Sabib awoke with a start.

He was cold and didn't want to be punished for sleeping outside. He stood up and after shaking sand from his hair, trudged back to the tent. 10,000 feet above him, a lone figure was floating on invisible wings to earth.

As Sabib reached his tent, he turned for another look at the constellations. Out of the heavens, he saw what looked like a weird cloud with strings. He rubbed his eyes and looked again. It had a lump hanging from it, and it was moving faster than any cloud he'd ever seen.

He was puzzled and wished to investigate, but sleep and weariness overtook him. He retreated into his tent. Twenty-six miles away, the soldier named Snake, was folding her parachute. The cool night air whipped sand across her face. Her dark eyes narrowed and she scowled at the barren land.

_"Come on," _ she growled. _"Give me everything you got." _ She loved a challenge. After checking her equipment and adjusting her backpack, she began to jog through the sand dunes. It would take her at most, two days to reach the Scorpions' lair. She kept jogging with no intention to stop soon.

Her mission had begun and there was no way in Hell she wasn't going to finish it.

-End Transmission

A/N: Like I said, the next chaps are gonna be better. Just as a heads up, there's going to be a lot of profanity in the next few chapters. So if you can't handle it, get lost. Unfortunately, this is my only outlet to let out my inner thoughts and foul language. Unless I just say it aloud, which I'm starting to do often. So excuse my French, 'cause it's about to get dirty.


	4. Chapter 4: The Path Less Traveled

A/N: If you want more of this story REVIEW. Please people, you're leaving me in the dark here!

Disclaimer- Metal Gear still isn't and probably never will be mine. Damn...

Data Entry- 004- The Path Less Traveled

1045 hrs - 10:45 a.m.

"_Damn it." _Snake said this aloud as the morning sun beat upon her. It was at least 97 degrees and she was still miles away from the Scorpion base. She wanted to strip off some of her clothing, but reminded herself of the horrible sunburn she would get. She took two more steps before coming to a halt.

She sat down and took a sip of her canteen. She slightly regretted having to land her parachute jump far from the base. But they would detect the plane faster than they would a single human on foot.

That's why it was taking so freakin' long for her to get there. Plus, there were no paths through a desert, which made the terrain harder to manuever. "_Damn scorpions, damn sand, damn sun_," she growled, glaring at the harsh landscape.

She stood up, closed her canteen, and marched on. About an hour later, Snake stopped. Something just beyond the range of her vision was coming towards her, fast. She took out her binoculars and zoomed in on the thing.

Dread spread through her entire body like venom, as she realized what it was. _"Shit!" _She dropped to her knees and began to claw at the sand, shoveling it behind her like a dog. She glanced up at the force of nature closing in on her.

It was way too close to avoid, and would arrive in minutes. After digging a decent hole, she threw herself in it. She quickly positioned her backpack over her face and prayed she wouldn't be buried alive.

The sandstorm was here.

It pounded against her with the force of a tsunami, and she could feel herself being sucked out of her hole. She pressed her lips and eyes shut as tight as they could go, and waited for it to be over.

Finally, after what felt like hours but in reality was only minutes, she shoved her backpack off of her. _"Whoa." _The landscape had totally changed. Not that you could tell that much. But what had just been a huge sand dune was now a valley.

Snake brushed herself off and took out her GPS. Seven more miles, northeast. "_Fuckin' scorpions, with their hot weather and sandstorms!" _She continued her trek through the desert and she remembered something from an English class a while ago.

Something about "taking the road less traveled and that has made all the difference." _What a road, _she thought. _Hope it makes a big difference. More like a nightmare than anything. Why am I thinking about English anyway? Lame ass subject... Too much reading and waaaayyyyy too much writing, that's for damn sure. _

Then she realized these words were wise words of motivation. _I gotta stay focused, gotta complete my mission. The world is at stake if I don't. _She smiled grimly. _"Scorpions, here I come, and I'm gonna kick some desert ass!"_

-End Transmission

Disclaimer- That quote is so not mine. It's from Robert Frost... if you didn't know any better. And don't ask me who Robert Frost is. Damn nerds...

A/N: Not the best but hey, it's alright. By the way I don't think English is lame. Do u think I'd be writing this if I did? I just said that because my character is a hard ass. Anyway, it'll keep getting better and better. So, REVIEW and tune in next time for the latest installment titled... uh... oh yeah, Espionage & Recon. I get to kill people... YAY!


	5. Chapter 5: Espionage & Recon

A/N: **URRGHH!** Don't you just **HATE** those teachers who don't even teach you, but they say something stupid to piss you off anyway. Or how about the kind that think they run the whole freakin' school and are really annoying! **AAAHHH! I HATE COACH AUSTIN! **Stupid idiot, looking like a damn shaved pigeon with his big ass lightbulb head. Sorry, I told you this was my outlet for cursing. Now on with the story...

Disclaimer- You should know by now, I don't own Metal Gear.

Data Entry- 005- Espionage & Recon

2430 hrs- 12:30 p.m.

The Scorpion base finally came into view as Snake crawled over a dune. "_That's one tacky building. No fashion sense whatsoever," _she said, after wiping sand grit from her face. It was painted a tan color like the sand, probably to look like a mirage. Obviously, the Scorpions must think everyone's stupid.

Looking through her binocs, she saw guards patrolling the front of the building. There were no threats, other than the guards, in sight. Something fishy was going on, and there shouldn't be, seeing as men don't need tampons.

Usually, the enemy would be more cautious to make sure there were no intruders close by. But these idiots only had two inept guards outside. The Scorpions were either really smart or really stupid.

Snake studied the building and the land around it. It was plain, with two floors and had no perimeter (geometry word) fence around it. The best course of action was to probably snipe the guards and go through the AC vents, which were visible from the outside.

She got her beloved sniper rifle and aimed at a guard's head. Her finger was about to squeeze the trigger when she realized something. The guards were acting really weird. They kept inching forward, one behind the other, then they would stop. The one in front would check a monitor on his wrist and then they would creep forward again. They constantly looked down, as if afraid they were going to get gum on their boots.

Snake thought for a minute, then gasped. _"Damn it to hell! Those pansies have landmines!" _Furiously, she aimed at a guard's forehead and let one go. His partner freaked as his brains exploded. The remaining guard stood, paralyzed with fear, as his comrade's corpse fell in the sand.

In a matter of seconds, Snake aimed at the other guard's heart. He was killed instantly. His body fell on the ground and suddenly blew into pieces. Snake smiled with satisfaction. She had always been good at sniping. This confirmed her theory about the landmines, too. She got up and moved towards the building.

The guard who was nearly decapitated was near her. She pulled the monitor off his wrist and looked at it. It was a mine detector and she now knew where all the mines were concealed.

After making her way through the small minefield, she kicked the covering over the vent. She would have to leave her backpack here. She stripped off her BDU (battle dress uniform) coat and cap, revealing an army green tank top underneath. She grabbed her .45, stun grenades, smoke grenades, binoculars, and survival knife and placed them in a pouch around her waist. Then she crawled inside. After several minutes of crawling she came to a dead end. She couldn't go anywhere but up or back. This is where her body frame came into play.

She slid up the shaft until she was standing up. She lodged her hands and feet between the vent walls and began to slide up. Finally, she reached the top and turned over on her back. She needed to rest; she was so exhausted from being in the desert and now this! She blew her bangs out of her face, closed her eyes and fell asleep in the vent.

-End Transmission

A/N: Told you I get to kill people. Anyway, I have gotten twenty hits (thanks for reading) and only three reviews from the ever faithful PsychoticPoet. PLEASE REVIEW. It only takes a few seconds to do it, so it won't be time-wasting unless everybody's a lazy bastard. Tune in next time for "The Belly of the Beast".

P.S. I still hate Coach Austin and Senior Awards Day is GAY!


	6. Chapter 6: The Belly of the Beast

Disclaimer - I don't own Metal Gear. And I never will. WAAAAHHHHH! (Audible sniff and whimpering) Oh yeah, don't own Austin Powers and the "mojo" either.

Data Entry - 006 - The Belly of the Beast

1305 hrs - 1:05 p.m.

Snake awoke with a start and banged her head on the vent wall. After a few minutes of "colorful language" and rubbing her head, she moved on. She was sweaty now and was panting slightly. _"Who the fuck has air conditioning vents and doesn't use them? Damn!" _

She was on the second floor now, and was crawling past a vent covering, when she heard a man crying. _"What the hell?" _ she muttered. She peered through the grate for a better view and saw a really short man in a white lab coat.

She kicked the vent cover and caught it before it clattered to the floor. The room was completely empty, besides the crying man. She dropped down to the floor in front of the man.

"Ahhh," he cried. In one movement, Snake lunged upward, closed her hands over his throat, and shoved him into the wall. _"Shut the fuck up you sissy, or I'll decorate the walls with your carcass!" _ "Okay," the man wheezed.

Reluctantly, she let him go and pushed him on the floor. "Who are you?" he asked, gently massaging his throat. _"I'm here to save you from some evil assholes," _she replied. _"Now answer my questions. What do the Scorpions plan to do with you?" _

"They want to introduce a new disease into the world and create a pandemic." (Yes, pandemic is a real word. Scary, isn't it?) _"What kind of disease?" _ "I don't know, some new one! They're developing it with my help. It involves my research on sloths."

_"What does sloth research have to do with making biological weapons? And why were you studying sloths anyway? They're like the lamest creatures on earth. Why didn't you research something cool, like snakes? That would've been interesting!" _

"Actually, I was studying how they mate and their "mating mojo" (like mojo in Austin Powers) is a key factor in the development of the weapon." _"Dude, no offense but that's just..." _Snake closed her eyes and shuddered at the thought that had popped into her head. _"How exactly do they mate?" _ Snake thrusted her hips back and forth in slow motion.

_"Do they go ooohhhh, baby?" _ "NO, they don't! Just because they're really slow, doesn't mean you have the right to make fun of them!" _"Well, I was just curious." Snakes would have been cooler, _she thought.

"It's a very complex way of mating that's hard to explain." _"Screw that, I don't have time for biology. I gotta get you out of here. Oh yeah, is the disease complete?" _ "No, not yet." _"Do they need you, and only you, to help finish it?" _ "Yes, no one can finish it but me."

_"That's all I needed to know. Now let's go." _ All of a sudden, the door to the room burst open, and a guard had an assault rifle pointed at Snake. "FREEZE!"

-End Transmission

A/N: OOHHH BABY! I'm so retarded. Who really thinks about writing a story with sloth mating involved in it? None other than me, with my increasing abnormal thoughts. Then again, I'm sure someone out there thought of it too... cough - weirdos. See what happens in the next chap. titled: "BUSTED... Again"


	7. Chapter 7: Busted, Yet Again

A/N: Sorry, I haven't updated in like forever, but I've been occupied with MGS 3: Subsistence. OH YEAH, KONAMI ROCKS! Anyway, the next chappie might be awhile too.

Disclaimer - How many times must I tell you... I DON'T OWN METAL GEAR! And Rockstar owns the Grand Theft Auto Series... lucky bastards.

Data Entry - 007- Busted, Yet Again

1400 hrs - 2:00 p.m.

"On the ground, both of you!" shouted the guard. From the looks of him, he was definitely inexperienced. His hands were shaking and his eyes darted around. He was wimpy and not soldier material. Snake doubted he had ever killed anyone. So, she sprung into action.

Before the poor guy could blink, Snake grabbed Richardson and pulled out her .45. Using the geek as a human shield, she said smoothly, "_I doubt your boss would want this guy killed. It would be YOUR fault if he was murdered by me. So, think of the consequences you would face." _

She smiled ruthlessly, as the guard shuddered at the thought of being punished by his superior officers. _"If you want him to live, do exactly as I say. Slide your weapon across the floor to me and lie on the ground. _

The guard didn't move. "_Or else_," Snake threatened, her voice barely above a whisper. She lowered her pistol until it was level with his crotch. "Okay, whatever you say, just don't shoot me in the nuts! PLEASE, I want to have kids!"

The guard placed his slid his pistol to Snake and descended into a prone position. Snake shoved Scheen out of the way and bent down to disable the guard. "What are you going to do?" he whimpered, his eyes large with fear. Snake glared at him and replied with a quick, hard blow to the back of his neck, knocking him out instantly.

"_Okay, we're going to be under alert if this guy doesn't give a status report to headquarters. We have to leave now_." Snake glanced at Scheen, who was cowering in a corner._ "I know they have vehicles. So where are they?" _

"There's some in an underground parking area and there are more hidden behind the building." _"Do you have a key?" _ "Um... no. Only soldiers are authorized to have a key." _Damn, no one ever cuts me any slack, Snake thought. _

_"I guess I'll have to hotwire one. It's grand theft auto all over again." _"Have you played that game too? It's so COOL!" said Scheen, bobbing excitedly up and down like a kid. Snake rolled her eyes. _"Let's get going." _

She kneeled down and clasped her hands together. Richardson just stared blankly at her. _"Come on, we don't have a lot of time!" _"What do you want me to do?" _"I'm giving you a boost, you idiot. I'm going to toss you up into that vent!" _"Oh. It's sort of creepy up there... you go first."

_"Damn it, do you want to be rescued or not!" _Snake shouted. _"Fine, I'll go first, you punk!" _She performed a "run and jump" combo and pushed her feet off a wall, acrobatically propelling herself towards the vent. She grabbed the edge of the opening and hung down.

_"Now hurry and use me as a ladder to climb into the vent." _

Snake and Scheen never made it through the vent.

Three guards rushed in. Snake, still hanging from the vent, was shot with a tranq dart and collapsed to the floor. The other two guards restrained Scheen, which didn't require a lot of effort. The guards all laughed, as Snake let out a loud snore, before curling into a camouflaged ball.

"And she's supposed to be an expert soldier," giggled the youngest of the three, pointing at Snake. She grunted something incoherently and they laughed again. One picked up her sleeping body and they all walked out, locking the scientist in the room. Scheen Richardson began to cry... again.

- End Transmission

A/N: What will happen to Snake? Will she ever rescue Scheen? Will they ever escape?Will Scheen ever stop crying? Tune in next time to the next chapter titled... uhh, oops, I don't have a title for the next chapter. Oh well.


	8. Chapter 8: Guess Who's Back Part Uno

A/N: Okay, I know. I've been lazy as crap and haven't updated in forever. But now chapter eight is finally here. Not that anyone gives a damn anyway... All spelling errors are quite intentional and I'm not making fun of anyone's accent or language.

Disclaimer: I don't care about owning Family Guy or Harry Potter, although I like both. And by now it's pretty obvious that I don't own METAL GEAR! DAMN THE PATRIOTS!

Data Entry - 008 - Guess Who's Back (Part Uno)

1845 hrs - 6:45 p.m.

"_Uggh_." Snake opened her eyes to find herself on the floor of a brightly lit room. It was all white and virtually empty, besides her limp form struggling to sit up in the middle of the room.

She tried to use her hands and discovered they were tied with some old, itchy, abrasive rope. Rope. Who uses rope anymore? This isn't a freaking western! Don't they have handcuffs or something? "_Cheap terrorists_," she muttered.

She finally managed to sit up and began to wriggle her hands free. Just as she got the rope off, the door opened. She sprang into a fighting stance and glared as some dude came in.

Her jaw dropped as she looked at the man. A low _"eww..."_ escaped her as she continued to stare. He was immensely FAT! He looked like an Uncle Vernon and Peter Griffin hybrid.

His apple-shaped stomach hung several inches over his belt. He was wearing an all white suit, with matching shoes, cane, and sloth. Wait... this dude had a sloth!

"Vell, Sniper Snake, vwe meet again." He had a horribly thick accent. _"What the hell are you talking about? I've never met you before until now." _"Oh, vright. Vwell, we finally-"

_"Cut to the chase fatty! I've got a world to save!" _ "Fine, you skinny brat! You're gonna die and no one's going to save you!" (Insert evil laugh)

Snake stared blankly at him. He stopped laughing and said "What? Is there zomething on my face?" _"Are you new at this or something?" _ "What do you mean?" he asked, quivering. He grabbed his sloth, who was currently resting on his shoulder and said in an audible whisper, "She's onto us my preciousss!"

_"Most bad guys introduce themselves, then explain their evil plot to the heroine."_ "Oh, really?" _"You think with a name like Snake, an animal symbolic for deception, that I'd lie to you?" _ "You look pretty vhonest. Thanks for ze tip." _"No problem." _ Man, this dude is gullible.

"Anyway, my name is Frederick von Swiss. And I plan to take over ze world vith Jewel." _"Who's Jewel?" _ Von Swiss gestured to the sloth. _"Riiight. So, how do you plan to take over the world using... sloths?" _ Snake asked innocently.

"Vwell, ze scientist has discovered a new substance in ze sloths "mojo", he said with a wink at Snake. Snake recoiled slightly and uttered _"sicko"_ under her breath. "And by uzing zis mojo which happens to be fatal to humanz if not handled properly I vwill kill everyone who iz capable of stopping me starting with you!"

Snake stood there, dumbstruck, and registered what he'd just said. _"Okay, first of all, I'm no English major, but I suggest you go back to school. Secondly, that was the LONGEST RUN ON SENTENCE I'VE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE TO UNDERSTAND! And, thirdly..." _She paused, then burst out laughing.

"Vhat's so vunny?" Von Swiss demanded. Snake, still gasping with laughter, said, _"Your plan is SO LAME! I thought these "take over the globe" plans couldn't get more ridiculous, but this takes the cake! I mean come on! A fat guy with a sloth obsession taking over the world! It's retarded, it's crazy, and-" _

She stopped and glared at Von Swiss. "And over my DEAD BODY, will I let you succeed!" she growled menacingly. With that she lunged at Von Swiss and thus began the weirdest fight in history.

(Narrator breaks 4th wall)

Narrator: And in the blue corner the cool teen soldier, weighing in at 117 pounds, SNIPER SNAKE! And in this corner, the fat supervillian with the fucked up accent, weighing in at a spectacular 407 pounds, VON "BIG DADDY" SWISS!

-End Transmission

A/N: Man, my fingers hurt from typing. GAH! Anyway, yes, I decided to make this a two part chappie because it's too damn long for just one. Wonder what happens next! Tune in next time kids, for the next installment of: The Story of a Solid Snake - Ch. 8 Part Dos!


	9. Chapter 8: Guess Who's Back Part Dos

A/N: Hello! I'm back and I finally posted this chapter. Call me whatcha want, but I guarantee that my little "hiatus" is not entirely because of laziness. Random statement of the day: Red Hot Chilli Peppers ROCK! And now on with the story...

Disclaimer: Do I really need one of these anymore? I mean seriously...

Data Entry - 008 - Guess Who's Back (Part Dos)

1855 hrs - 6:55 p.m.

Snake initiated the first punch of the wierdest fight in history. She lunged at Von Swiss, aiming for his face. Her fist connected and she cried out in surprise, as the fat flesh absorbed her hand. _"Gross!"_ she yelled as she retracted her now clammy fist.

Von Swiss reacted quickly for a fat dude, and punched back, nailing Snake in the stomach. The force from his combined punch and weight sent her sprawling. "You're fighting over 400 pounds zweetheart. You're simply no match for ze Swissinator."

Snake regained her feet and rolled her eyes. Why did every super villian she fought have to be so sucky? Damn Fanfiction author, creating stupid villians...

She was about to attack again, when Swiss suddenly began to flee. _"Hey! Get back here fat ass!" _Snake shouted. She sprinted towards him but was too late, as the door to the room bolted shut. _"DAMN!" _she exclaimed, banging her fists on the door.

Von Swiss spoke over an unseen loudspeaker in the room. "And now Snake, you vwill die, as I release the mojo into the room! The mojo's essence vwill enter your respiratory system and eat avway at your lung tissue! You vwill cease to exist after 10 minutes. It takes avhile to do it's job. Anyway, I suggest that next time, you don't mock anyone that has the potential to kill you! Oh vwait, there won't be a next time!

Von Swiss finally shut his yapper and sure enough, a thick purple gas filled the room. _"Crap! Only 10 minutes to get out of here!" _ But as Snake searched for a way out, she became sluggish.

_"Damn gas... yawn it's making me... sleepy." _ Snake tried to resist, but the gas was overwhelming her._ Fuck. At least I'll be asleep when it eats my lungs_... and she fell to the floor.

At that moment, an alarm blared in the distance and the door to the room opened. Someone with a gas mask was carrying her out the room. The stranger took off the mask after closing the door, keeping the deadly gas locked inside.

It was a man and Snake tried to get a glimpse of his face, but his back was to her. He had on a grey body suit and his brown, unruly hair was secured by a faded bandanna. Snake then fainted, as her last ounce of strength left her.

-End Transmission

A/N: It's shorter than the others but that's because it's part of a two-part chappie. Anyway, everyone should know who this heroic stranger is. gets dreamy look on face He's so hot... snaps out of it Oh right, uh, read the next chapter... Metal Gear... whatever...


End file.
